You’re Not Broken: What I’ve Learned About Insecurity and Self-Acceptance
- Fred Claiborne
- Apr 11
- 2 min read
Updated: Apr 17
Let me start with something simple:I don’t have it all figured out.
That may sound strange coming from a therapist, but it’s the truth. Like anyone else, I’ve had my fair share of doubts and insecurities. I’ve questioned whether I’m “enough”—smart enough, capable enough, strong enough. It’s part of being human. And over the years, I’ve learned that accepting that truth is actually where the real work—and the real freedom—begins.
The Lie Insecurity Tells Us & Why it Hinders Self-Acceptance
Insecurity doesn’t usually shout. It whispers. It says,“Don’t speak up—you’ll sound dumb.”
“Don’t try that—you’ll probably fail.”
“Don’t let people get too close—they might not like what they see.”
Those messages often come from old stories we’ve carried—about how we should be, how we should look, or what we should’ve achieved by now. Maybe those stories came from parents, teachers, coaches, or just the culture around us. Either way, insecurity feeds on the belief that something is wrong with us—and self-acceptance begins when we start to challenge that belief.
What Self-Acceptance Actually Means
Self-acceptance isn’t the same as being complacent. It doesn’t mean you stop growing or striving. It means you stop beating yourself up in the process.
It’s saying:“I’m still learning, and I’m okay right now.”“I have room to grow, but I’m not broken.”“I can be a work in progress and still be worthy of love and respect.”
As a therapist, I’ve seen firsthand how powerful this mindset shift can be. I’ve watched clients start to show up for themselves differently—choosing compassion over criticism, courage over avoidance. And I’ve practiced the same thing in my own life, even when it feels uncomfortable.
Here’s What Helps Me Stay Grounded
Noticing the inner critic – I’ve learned to name the voice of insecurity when it shows up. “Oh, there you are again,” I say to it—not to shame it, but to separate it from the truth.
Leaning into discomfort – Insecurity tries to keep us small. But growth requires risk. I remind myself: discomfort isn’t danger—it’s just a sign that I’m stretching.
Staying connected – Whether it's with friends, family, or clients, I’ve found that meaningful connection is the antidote to isolation. Vulnerability opens the door to real support.
Remembering my values – When I feel off-center, I come back to what matters: showing up with integrity, being kind to myself and others, and continuing to do work that’s meaningful.
Final Thought
If you’re feeling stuck in your own insecurities, I want you to know you’re not alone. You don’t have to “fix” yourself to be worthy of healing, growth, or connection. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is start where you are, with honesty and compassion.
I’m here for the messy, uncertain parts—because that’s where the real transformation begins.
– Fred
Fred is a therapist at Inspired & Free, where he supports adults navigating anxiety, self-worth, and life transitions.His calm, down-to-earth approach helps clients feel seen, supported, and empowered to create real, lasting change. Want support navigating your own inner critic? Fred would love to help. Schedule a consultation today.
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